Whittling of the Soul

I am placing my trust and working with a mentor for this 40-day devotional practice. I am working with Leah Braithwaite and her Soul Rx program. When working with Leah she tunes into my Human Design, my intention, and her Kundalini training to find a kriya that best suits my needs and goals. This chant is by design and with intent to work with me to help facilitate the change I want. This devotional practice has been picked specifically for me.

This writing is recording my lived experience of my human design, Kundalini, and Soul Rx practice. The following are my embodied results for the 40 days I have committed to.

Day Twenty-Seven

Today it is stormy. The thunder rolls and claps. Lightning flashes and sears the sky. Today I am grateful that this spring storm comes with rain, so the problem of bush fires is lessened. The world around me is drying into the colors of summer and it is a problem we do not need.

This feels like a day to be jolted from the stuckness in life. It is a day to create change and a promise freeing me from the resentments and old fears. This feels like my soul is being whittled and pared down leaving behind layers of who I used to be. Each time I do this practice I am invited to leave something behind that no longer serves me and embrace something that does. I am made of many layers and have created different ones to protect myself over the years, this storm is helping me to release them. They are released through the vibration of sound that is reprogramming me at a core level.

Chant

Today I chanted with a bloodstone crystal carving of a dragon skull between my feet while a storm accompanied me. Nature’s voice sang in harmony with me making the song feel like a duet full of life, resonating with the claps of thunder, flashes of lightning and pounding of the rain. It was a practice infused with the elemental magic of nature.

My grounding practice flowed and felt divinely inspired. Words to greet this practice flowed through me. I wished I could capture them, but I wanted to be present. I knew I would not recapture the words that came to me, but I hoped in my writing I would find the essence of the devotional magic that came through and would resonate through my day.

My feet feel warm and tingled during the entire practice and I am feeling more grounded with each round. I am awakening into my body. My left side still moves and adjusts but not to the extent it used to, now it is a smaller and more nuanced movement. I am finding alignment and equilibrium between my right and left sides.

Today has an element of fancifulness and I feel in the last stanza the singer’s voice entwining with me, wrapping me in her vibration. Embracing this devotion provides me with a sense of harmony.

Reflection

The 40 days of this kriya practice feels like a whitling of the soul; a paring away of what no longer serves and is an invitation for new behaviors, beliefs, and solidification of my value system. The more I do this practice the less I can hide from myself.

I realize questions are arising from my devotion but, I am not stopping to answer them. I push through thinking time is scarce and I am already over committed to this, but the time of reckoning is coming where I will no longer be able to avoid them if I am to be true to me.

Questions

I am gathering my questions that have arisen from my devotion, and I plan to answer them in the remaining days of my practice. I truly want to embrace the change I am inviting in. I dig through my life finding what needs to change and this research deserves corresponding actions that will bring this about.

Two questions that have haunted me over the last few years and deserve an answer are:

· Who am I?

· Who do I want to be?

More questions have arisen from my practice and a few of these include:

· What am I hiding from myself?

· What is important to you?

· What do you want from life?

· Who do you want to be?

· What creates stillness within you?

· What do you dream of being?

· Who are you doing this practice for?

· Difference between secret and sacred?

· How do I honor myself?

· Who am I choosing to be?

· What is the step between trying and doing?

· What are my values?

I can find endless questions that allow me to remain stuck thinking I do not know enough nor will I ever. I can think it is a lack of knowledge that debilitates me, but it is not that at all. What holds me in its thrall is not knowing how to implement the knowledge I learn about myself.

I am learning that I can know my astrological natal chart, my numerology profile, my human design, I can ask the cards for wisdom but none of these matters if I do not embody the wisdom held within.

I know human design tells me when I feel frustration I am off course, when satisfaction floods me I am on point. I know I need to heed gut feelings and listen to my emotions. I can know I act as a mirror to all with my 5/1 profile or I am born to respond to life as a generator but there is a difference in knowing and living.

I can continue listing parts of myself held within these soul blueprints. Numerology and astrology combined tells me I am a creative born to communicate in a manner that is deep, wanting to excavate the surface level to find the depth that is hidden in us all. I have an interest in the occult and things that create deep abiding change. I seek to know and want the wisdom to put all this together. Once again, I know this litany, a shopping list of the parts that make me who I am. I can recite this and so much more, but I am left with the biggest question of all — “Where in life am I doing any of this?”

As I asked that question, I was surprised by the whisper who answered me, she tells me I am. By doing this practice I am embodying my soul. I was not expecting an answer when I wrote the question. In doing my devotional practice and by writing I am inviting it all in. Just like that the wind leaves my storm and I find the calm and stillness within me. The frantic pace of my fingers slow on the keyboard. I am floored that the answer was there all along and it was only in writing this that allowed me to see it at all!

Card

The question of the day is “What do I need to know today?’

My Answer Hyena

Hyena — humor, wit, sarcasm

Hyena mocks me and reminds me I am hiding from who I am. It is a reminder if I want to claim my place in life, I am the only one who can do this. He tells me that deep within me and underneath it all I have unfulfilled desires that I brush over and make light of. How can lasting change occur if I laugh it all off and gloss over what I really need in this world!

This practice is one of the only things I am honest with. I hide things from myself, and others. My devotional practice is a place for me to openly share and be honest with, but it is a reminder I do have a secret life, one where I secretly eat (if it is not discovered it does not count) and secrets of who and what I want to be.

This card is telling me not to laugh at what it is I want. I need to have honest conversations if I wish to create permanent change and create the joyful balanced life I desire.

So once again I am asking myself, Rebecca, what is it that you need to show the light of day? Who is it you want to be? What do you want to do in life?

See you tomorrow for day 28.