When is Enough, Enough?

Dear Soul, I have a dear friend who requested that I write about and share my thoughts on “When is enough, enough?” I have written this letter, rewritten, copied and pasted sections only to tear it all down and start again. Let us see if this is the one I publish!

Going Past the Point of Enough

In writing on “When is enough, enough?” I have learnt a lot about myself. I have found through other variations of this letter that I do not know when enough is enough. Even in writing this I have gone past the point of my answer being enough. My life is a living example on not knowing this boundary. I live my life in the excesses and extremes of habits that are not always in my best interest, putting up with behaviors from others who hurt me and yet I never seem to call time or say those magic words enough is enough. I do not seem to be able to listen to an audible book and savor the contents; I devour the book and then the whole series leaving me with deep regrets and a yearning for more and finally the disappointment that there is not. I do not just have one streaming platform but many providing more than I could ever watch and yet leave me unfulfilled. If I love the flavor of something I find I cannot stop and I want more. I pick up my electronic device for a quick game and the next thing I know I am climbing into bed in the early hours of the morning. I constantly pick up my phone checking emails and texts unable to stop myself (even when I know there are no new ones) I do not know when enough is enough.

This question has brought to my attention the necessity of asking and answering when is enough, enough? Without asking and checking in with myself I am frozen stuck in habits that do not serve me. To move forward I need to be checking in with myself to find my limits and create and enforce constructive boundaries stopping me from the overwhelm that going beyond my limits creates.

A Question for the World

If we look at the world it seems to be a pandemic of humanity not knowing when enough is enough! There is war, poverty, hate, discrimination in many, many forms, and there is a culture of over consumerism that is prevalent in the world today. We look to blame others and sue them for our own misfortune and poor choices. World leaders and big business do not seem to care that we all need to be asking this question of when is enough, enough? If anything, they expose our lives to the fear of not having enough or ever being enough and they encourage consumption of everything past the point that is healthy for us all, not at all concerned with consequences (let’s face it some of them will not be here to reap what they have sown it will be the generations just being born that will be crying at our excesses). This leads me to think I am not the only one who has issues of knowing when enough is enough. I do not seem to be able to enforce “I am not passing this point once I reach it and no more.” Enough is enough but we do not seem to grasp the concept. I am sure Mother Earth cries at the destruction and the misuse of her resources. So many aspects of life are covered by this question, but I do not think my friend was looking for a sermon in the state of the world and it is time to get off my soap box.

Where is the Boundary

This question can be applied to all aspects of your life. When is it enough emotionally, physically, spiritually, or mentally? When do we draw the lines and hold the boundaries or even learn where they are needed at all. When is something pushing us to grow and when is it time to quit? I have personally struggled with knowing when to call enough throughout my life. I will not pluck my own eyebrows because I do not know when enough is enough and I would have none left in my quest for perfection. I had a woodwork teacher at school who called enough for me on one of my projects because I could not. The piece of wood was less than half the thickness of what I started with when my teacher told me to stop (I could not get it level and with each stroke of the woodworking plane it became less and less and yet not level).

Let us consider what enough looks like when we take this back down to the individual level. How do we know when enough is enough? I feel it comes in the form of even being aware to ask this question. In the asking we sense that something is off in our world, and we are no longer happy with what is happening. When we begin to tolerate and resent then we know we have gone past the point and need to make changes to correct the demand on us. Enough is enough when you compromise on who you are, and it starts to negatively impact on you and others in our life. We should call enough and no more when we feel our soul and very being is being twisted into something and someone we do not recognize or even like anymore. Enough is enough when we are being encouraged to turn away from our core values and beliefs. Enough is enough when we change who we are to be acceptable to another. The idea of Enough works both ways! Enough is enough if you are requesting or suggesting that another needs to change to suit you. We need to be mindful of what we are expecting from others because we can unintentionally or intentionally make them think and feel enough is never enough and simultaneously too much! Life is a two-way street.

Enough is enough when our habits and very way of life slips into compulsive behaviors and addictions.

Enough is enough when your whole being is full of resentment feeling stressed and pushed beyond healthy limits and boundaries. It is enough when you are left feeling like life is only one test of endurance after another. If this is becoming your normality it is time to let go; you have gone beyond the point where enough is enough.

When you permanently live from a negative mind set and the world seems too much, I think it is time to re-evaluate and let go of what are not your problems, responsibilities or tasks in the first place. Hand back what is not yours to those that they belong to. In life it is good to remind yourself that the actions of others in your life belong to them and are not yours, they are not a reflection of you. At times we need to ask is this even ours and if not, why are we letting it create stress, disharmony and creating discord in your life. It is their lessons let them learn and take yourself out of the equation and claim enough is enough.

I recently spoke to somebody very dear too me who told me they had resigned from their work as it no longer served them, and they were beginning to see that it was enough and time to create change. I answered with reassurance that they were doing the right thing for the right reasons. This beautiful soul was honoring “enough being enough” calling quits to something that was no longer working for them and their current life circumstances gave them the ability to create the change needed for a happier life. I do not recommend quitting your job for the sheer hell of it, but it was a choice that was open in this instance and by calling the end it is an opening inviting something new to come in. I know others do not have the luxury of this and for them it is working out how to deal with being too much into something workable, livable, and acceptable. Something being too much does not mean we can always call quits but we can explore ways to change the circumstances or more importantly our perspective and perception of them. We do not always have the capacity or the circumstance to be able to follow our hearts. We need to acknowledge that we have an issue with something being too much so we can begin to create the changes needed to bring about creating the possibility of what we desire. We cannot create change until we recognize that we have had enough.

My Thoughts

I think and feel as soon as we ask this question, we know deep within us that it is time for change. I think when we only tolerate the circumstance and people than we know there is change that needs to occur. In all it really comes down to our perspectives and how we view the world. Life can push us and the people in it to see what type of person we are but there comes a time when we need to adjust or simply say goodbye. If you feel that it is too much maybe it is time to step away and re-evaluate “When is enough, enough?” Once you have your answer look for the changes you can make. Do you need to implement or revisit your boundaries. Are you the one who is going above and beyond and need to pull back? If you can where can you do this? Is it time to release the situation or person sending them on with love in your heart? Is it even yours to carry and deal with in the first place? Is it too much because you are carrying the load for a loved one? Is it making your life miserable? In some ways do you find validation of who you are through staying past the point that you should call quits (no insult intended but is there a payback for you playing Martyr or Victim)? In answering these questions, I feel you will start to find the answer you seek.

My soul was caught hook line and sinker with this simple question on enough. I was taken by the breadth of the question and all that arose within me. I was left struggling with the concept and an inner knowing that this was a very poignant question for me to ask myself. After much consideration I am left with the answer of “enough is enough” when you make changes to yourself that change the dimensions of who you are to your detriment. Enough is enough when your soul is hobbled and chained to a false peace or an acceptance of being less than for the comfort of others. This is when enough is enough. Enough is enough when it hurts, and the quality of life has lessened leaving you with resentment and bitterness for what your life is. I truly believe we are here to love and experience joy and anything that takes you from this path is enough. Remember what brings you joy is not the same as someone else. Do not judge your “Enoughness” on the standards and judgments of others.

All I can offer is that the answer lies deep within you so reclaim that power. Question yourself deeply and look for what the situation or person is teaching you and have you learned all you can. Simply are you ready to let it go? Remember only you know when the time has come but it is okay to release with love and open a new chapter. You know what is best for you (even when you do not think you do) place a hand on head and heart and follow the wisdom that they speak to you. Continually ask yourself is this enough or too much? Is this creating a change for the better or not? Then make a choice.

If we are suffering from enough being enough so too are others. Be open to change by becoming a ripple in the sea of humanity. Become the skipping stone that starts to create harmony tipping the balance moving us away from the frantic pace of too much into being content with enough. Being a ripple is how we create change on a greater scale, and someone has to go first. Live life with compassion and kindness as guiding principles and you will know when enough is enough.

In love and light

Rebecca

Dear Soul Wisdom

PS I understand that obligation and responsibility come into play but that should never ruin your life by being too much. Can someone else also help with the responsibilities or are they even yours to shoulder? Are you taking on someone else’s lesson in life to help and should this be something you should be doing? Most importantly be kind to yourself.

PPS If you have something for me to write feel happy to comment on this post and I will do my best to answer.