The Search for Purpose

Down the Rabbit Hole

My quest began with a seemingly simple question that I had become obsessed with! “What is my purpose or mission in life?” I felt like Alice in Wonderland tumbling headfirst into a strange world. The curiosity that led Alice into trouble and adventure now had a hold of me. In following my white rabbit, I did not realize until too late I too had fallen down the rabbit hole! My world whirled around me. “What was my purpose? What was I born to do and be?” I was becoming unmoored from the old reality of who I thought I was and something new was arising. In asking this question I opened new possibilities.

I thought I had started a journey to find work that would fulfill me and help with family income. What I found was something completely different. I had entered a period of my life that had me searching for purpose and meaning way beyond my original parameters. I was asking for a definitive answer of “Who am I and what purpose do I serve?”.

With the question asked the journey had begun. I now actively pursued the holy grail of purpose and mission. I now found like Alice, I was in freefall, entering a new weird and wonderful land full of the unexpected. After starting I realized, I had no choice but to follow the rabbit. If I did not follow, I would become lost or remain stuck in what was and what could be. It felt like I was unable to see a path in front of me or I was standing at the fork of the road not knowing which way to go! Where had my curiosity and the white rabbit led me to?

The Freefall

It was sometime after falling into the pit of “What is my purpose and mission?” I was advised by a mentor not to be fooled by that very question for it was a tangle that could be miss leading with often the seekers getting lost on the path to purpose and meaning, becoming mired and stuck looking for their holy grail! For me this advice came too late! Knowing myself I would not have heeded it anyway! I would have tumbled headfirst in regardless of being forewarned. The words of caution would not have prevented my pursuit — if anything it would have been like the red flag waved at the bull with a side order of “how bad could it be?” (a question I have learnt not to ask the fates).

Searching for a singularity the thing that will save you and guide you is what I thought purpose was! It was the question that would guide me to a career, a life that was on point, structured, leaving no room for what I could not control, alleviating the fear of the unknown. Little did I know that this is a question that can blindside you and take you to depths you are unprepared for!

What good adventure was the hero/heroine ever ready for? The best stories have them whisked off in the middle of the night or after some unpleasant surprise being pursued. Looking for purpose is no different to this. This is the adventure to returning home to yourself. The journey can lead to dark nights of the soul, but the return home is very rewarding. The self-knowledge you gain is priceless.

Defining Purpose and Mission

At this stage I still had purpose and work meaning the same thing. This is not so!

Purpose is something you are born to be. Work is how you put food on the table, keep the roof over your head and clothes on your back. Work is how you earn money. Purpose is adding your much needed light to the world in a way you can only do.

Sometimes you can turn your purpose in life into a career by aligning your natural and innate talents you are born with and finding a career that gives them an outlet. This does not always happen in life and that is okay. I am a born communicator. All my life I have been in trouble for how loud I am and how talkative. I have found on my journey this is part of me and something I signed up to master. Finding acceptance and looking for better ways to master and hone my communication skills is part of my purpose. I am learning how I best use this skill. Sometimes, for me, my purpose is just talking to another and allowing them to know they are seen and heard (listening is also part of communication). Can I turn this into a career? Yes, I suppose I can, but do I have too? No is the simple answer!

You might be asking how do you know you are born to communicate? That is something I found through my journey. We have all been born with blueprint and yes, we have instructions. Yes, freewill is still in play because we interpret each piece how we want, and we can choose not to participate at all. Life will still unfold no matter our choices. It’s just that when you live in alignment life feels lighter.

Another lesson I learnt is that you truly do need to have intention set at the outset. Having a formalized intention would have shaved a few years off the quest. An intention acts like the compass point that always points true north guiding you along the path helping you to reset when you become lost. Intention is your lodestone drawing what you need towards yourself.

My Mad Hatter Tea party

First stop the Mad Hatter tea party and now I was fully immersed in the adventure. The only way out was through.

When I arrived in this weird and wonderful world, and I had found my personalized tea party I was dazzled by those who were invited guests coming just for me. All at this fantastical tea party resided in the metaphysic world.

Crystal sat there and drew me in with their versatility, beauty and gentle vibrations. Numbers with their definitive powers of deduction offering me more than my accounting background. The planets and the zodiac with the guiding light of Astrology. Colors and the subtle meanings and ways to influence mood and emotion. Archetypes beckoned to understand the world through the subtle energies of the collective subconsciousness offering understanding, knowledge and wisdom. Tarot with her mystique, divination and ability to prod you into wisdom and self-growth. Pendulum offering me the ability to hear my higher self. Chakra was present with the inner knowledge of the energy centers of the body. All captured my attention, and all would influence my life. All were strange and some had been forbidden me in my youth but, all called to me to follow them and learn their wisdom.

By the time I left this wonderland I would be Numerologer, Astrologer and Holistic Counsellor. I would have a working knowledge of tarot and be a student of Archetypes. I would be the eternal student of the metaphysical realm with the desire for others to see the beauty and wisdom in each of these ancient sciences.

Purpose

With everything I had learnt I still asked, “What is my purpose?”

Purpose was still entangled and enmeshed with career. I have come to the conclusion that this is a false belief! We are so much more than how we earn money.

Upon this path I had trod (and still walk) I had found that I needed to let go and release the entwined need for my purpose to be linked to my ability to make money. My purpose should not be linked to others’ expectations of me. I should not link my worth or purpose to outside expectations. Purpose could be a career but what I found was it was greater than this and yet so simple.

It would take me sometime to synthesize what I had learnt and then I found my answer was very simple. Maybe my simplistic answer is not what you expected to hear and yet on some level it feels right. Maybe you think it is one more wrong turn on the path. For me the purpose of this life is to fully embrace my own uniqueness to be comfortable with this. Maybe my answer to others opens a whole new realm like it did for me.

It is simple purpose in life is to be you.

Now what does it mean that the answer is to be true to who you are? That is the return to home and self.

Return Home

As a child I never questioned who I was until life taught me, I must fit in. Now I live to be brave enough to know myself on that level again. To know myself beyond the conditioning of life. I know each day my purpose is to wake up and embrace what the day brings and be who I am born to be.

The return home is to explore and express who I am. It is embracing my talents and skills and being brave enough to express them in the world.

It is returning to who I am without others’ expectations influencing me. It is learning to be comfortable in my own skin. It will take a lifetime to be able to do all this.

The return home is to be me.

Call to Action

Life did not just place us in the world with no instructions. We do come with a blueprint and that blueprint can be found in different places. It is found in the date of our birth and name, it is also fine-tuned with time and place of birth. All this forms a blueprint of who you are.

In my next articles we will explore this.

If you wish your own window into this reach out and we can read your blueprint together.