It is Always Now

I am working with a mentor for this 40-day devotional practice. I am working with Leah Braithwaite and her Soul Rx program. When working with Leah she tunes into my Human Design, my intention, and her Kundalini training to find a kriya that best suits my needs and goals. This chant is by design and with intent to work with me to help facilitate the change I want. This devotional practice has been picked specifically for me.

This writing is recording my lived experience of my human design, Kundalini, and Soul Rx practice. The following are my embodied results for the 40 days I have committed to.

Day Thirty

My practice today was full of clarity, ringing with truth and trust.

My devotional practice felt more like a devotion than ever. I felt connected to something greater that created deeper insights that danced around my mind and through my body. A deep peace and an understanding that I am the author of my own destiny settled into all aspects of me (my mind, body and soul). I see that I decide in every single moment who and what I can be.

The philosophy of living in the “Now” is not a new concept and I thought I had understood it before (even if I did not actively live by it), that I understood on some intellectual level what it all meant. Today I found out how wrong I was. I had not fully understood it at all.

Living in the “Now’ seems to be something new age living pushes at us with all the meaning drained from it. Today I understand I have never truly known the concept at all and by the time I finished my devotion today I will know deeply and on a cellular level. Before it seemed to be a part of toxic positivity, I am realizing that living in a “Now” does not care if life is positive or negative, it is centered and controlled by your reality and no matter what you do, you cannot escape the consequences, and you never will. I am no master of this, but I cannot unsee what I now know.

Chant

The chant today starts with clarity and with understanding that I need to be fully present. It is the sweet beginning of something special today.

I feel the completion of every seed sound I make. Each sound is full of the infinite having its own birth, life, death, and rebirth before it is born again. It is so peaceful, and it resonates fully within me. It is the annunciation of each sound and each mudra, and I have never felt as fully present as I am today. I also see from today’s chant that to have a good life you need to claim ownership of what you do with your time. Life is what we make it. Life is what we are willing to let go of. Life is what we are willing to dream.

Reflection

When I reflect on today’s chant I realize today was profound. I do not know why today is different, it just is. Maybe because it is now 30 days straight and with each iteration I have been building to this. Today I was present and focused.

During my devotion I was faced with the idea of “now” and only the now counts. It was the realization that being fully present and being willing to put down the chains of the past I could view it differently. It was realizing that what I do today will impact tomorrow so there was no point going there until I have lived today. Simply put is the understanding past actions are just that, they are in the past. It was seeing that the future would take care of itself. I was learning to let go of “what was” and of “what could be” and to truly live this moment of time. If I did that well the rest would take care of itself. In doing this I would be at peace with my past and know the future was worth having; all I need do is to live the present moment.

I also thought if I was to be judged it should be on the moment I am in now and this scared me. Did I want to be judged on the life I lived in each moment? The answer was no! I have too many habits that are mind numbing instead of life embracing. Living each moment the best way I can or at least being honest with myself is a sacred way to live life. I could then see that the conflict I saw in my human design had led me to this moment. Every moment conflict of choice is there, and it is in ownership of my actions that will make the difference. I can no longer think “I will eat this today and diet tomorrow” or “I will dance for my soul another day” every time I make these choices now; they are conscious choices. I am choosing frustration and friction over inner peace and balance. I can no longer lie to myself.

All this made me think of the mess the world is in and with everyone clinging to hatred and thinking that being right was the answer to it all. I wondered if we all could put down the chains that tie us? I wondered if we could build a better life? I have hope. I choose to hope in this moment for it is the ripple for tomorrow’s brighter future. If my now is full of pain, anger and sadness, and my inability to be more or move on, I could see this would be my future (and at one time it had been). I am choosing to believe we can do better because I know I can. I am not special I am ordinary so if I can change so can billions of others.

Card

Today I have a new appreciation for the word “now” and I see it is the lens in which my life is lived, whether I acknowledge it or not, but I was left wondering did I overlooked something? I mean I should be happy with what I learned but I always push for more.

Today I asked, “What can you add to this?”

Dragon came forward. This reminded me that all week I have been drawn to my dragon crystal skull.

Dragon — Seeing one’s most true self, balancing the ego.

This seems a perfect answer for today’s devotion.

Dragon reminds me there is beauty everywhere in life when you are willing and open to it all. He sees all and is a courageous visionary who has come to witness my self-growth and moment of epiphany. He is encouraging me to live my best life.

The dragon asks me to surrender, to let go, and enjoy the journey I am on.

I am hopeful this feeling does not fade, but I am human and there will be many times I need to remind myself of this wisdom. Once you have seen the truth your eyes can never close to it. I am the author of my destiny.

A reminder it is not what was, nor what will be, it is, what is that will always be important!

See you tomorrow for day 31.