Honor and Integrity

This is my lived experience of my human design crossed with a Kundalini chant and the following is my embodied results.

Day Eighteen

Today is day eighteen with time marching on and I wonder to myself “Can I keep this up?” How can I write each day? I know that I am full of words so I promise myself we will see what happens when I keep showing up.

Chant

Today’s chant felt smooth, but it also reminded me of my purpose behind these 40 days of devotional chanting. The desire to create equilibrium and harmony with the ability to act and create the life I want.

During today’s practice I noticed through my new pose, seated with my feet flat on the floor, my body would periodically tense through my left calf muscle which in turn had my toes push me onto the ball of the foot. All this pushes my body to the right. Time and time again I would need to consciously remind myself to place my foot flat on the floor and recenter. It finally dawned on me that I was seeking balance, and my body was physically reminding me of this desire.

Reflection

I was not sure what would come through for me to write about today. I still had my journalling before I would make my decision so held hope I would be inspired. Not to say that the chant had not been inspiring, but I was unsure how my thoughts would shake out and needed my journalling and cards to refocus me.

When it was time for me to write a photo of my three children sitting with Santa caught my eye and reminded me of another core value I hold dear and one that is nonnegotiable! All of this through a Christmas photo of my children. My children have been some of my greatest teachers in my life.

This photo was a reminder of honor and integrity. It was a physical reminder of the importance of keeping your word. Keeping your word is much more powerful for me than a promise. Words are spells that create vows we keep.

To understand why this photo was a trigger you need the story. To understand the photo, you need to know my children. At the time of the photo, they were 17, 24 and 27 and sitting on Santa’s knee. I know this may not be unusual for some families, but my children were well past taking any type of Christmas photo (let alone one with Santa) just to humor me. This photo was a matter of honor and integrity (two of my biggest core values) keeping to a promise and more importantly having the honor to keep to one’s words.

When my youngest was 7 he really wanted to have a Santa photo with his brother who was with us at the time. This does not seem an unreasonable request except his brother was 17 years old and we were in the middle of the mall. This was a hard no from him. I asked nicely and through in that Santa would make an appearance for him this year if he was to do this one thing for his brother and me. The answer was no! I suggested what if his brother would have a photo when he was 17 so he could appreciate how he felt in that moment? He said yes, he would (I like to think that is because he loved his brother and me). I am sure that both parties would forget and over the years I would remind them both, but neither thought I would make the photo happen.

When the time rolled around, we were altogether, and I said to the youngest it was now time to keep his word and honor his promise. He was not happy, but all the family went to a busy shopping mall to have the photo taken. His siblings went to rib him. My youngest would have taken the photo alone, unhappily, but it would have been done, word and promise kept. When it came time for the photo the older two, (no longer teens and no longer caught up in what others think) wanted in and I ended up with a photo I love and my youngest got to honor himself by keeping his word. In keeping his word, he found joy and laughter with his siblings.

All of this was a reminder that without this piece of me being valued I would not be the person I am. My word is important to me.

Card

Today I asked, “How do I honor myself?”

The reply was the same card as yesterday, the Firefly.

Today the image on the card reminds me to follow my inspiration to shine my light in the world. I see that when I honor my inspirations I invite in a soul level peace. This card reminds me when I am true, act with integrity I can become a light to inspire. In acting with honor, I shine like a beacon. It is in becoming the light of honor that I live a good life. Life’s magic is found here.

Firefly also speaks to creativity and mentions writing in particular letting me know by doing this very practice I am honoring myself. It is also the reminder that when I feel burnt out and life has become dull, I am not living true to me. All of this leaves me with a guiding question to keep me true to the self. “Does this (insert whatever I am doing or thinking) honor me?

See you tomorrow for day 19.