Body Wisdom

This is my lived experience of my human design crossed with a Kundalini chant and the following is my embodied results.

Day Three

Today was harder. It felt long and my body ached. Today I am reminded that it is a devotional practice that asks me to show up rain, hail, or sunshine. It is a reminder that devotion is more than lip service. Devotion is knowing you are showing up for yourself day in and day out with no excuse. Oh, and I forgot to mention that if you miss a day the count resets to one. I know my mentor will not enforce this, but I will. A part of me craves structure and order. When I am told it is 40 continual days; 40 continual days it is. There is a part of me that hates to break rules. I want to honor myself by devoting myself to doing the best practice I can.

Today the voice that wants to be heard is that of my body. I could not sit still. My lower back and hips ached. The voice in my head says, “your too old for this!” Today is my 57th birthday. As I do my Kundalini chant, I am feeling every one of those years. I am bending my body to my will to sit continually on the floor for a 30-minute plus chant. It hurts and I have a lot of discomfort, this in turn has me moving a lot through the chant trying to give myself some relief. I will complete this chant no matter the angst.

It is interesting that it is my body coming forth today as it is my body, I want to create peace with. I have been at war with my body since my teens. She has seen me small and large, fit and unfit, but now I am uncomfortable within her and at my heaviest weight. Something needs to change. I need to listen to the internal wisdom of my body.

Card Draw

Today the question will center on my body and my relationship to it. I ask, “What does my body want me to know?”

Why should today be any different to the days before? I am at a loss when drawing the Owl card. I know the Owl is about wisdom, so I know the answer is in the right area, but how does this relate to me?

I copy from the oracle instruction manual:

“Owl — Abundance, clairvoyant, treasure” I find a couple of lines that stand out “represents wealth, beauty and good fortune” the final piece that connects with me is “with owl wisdom on your side, you will “see” and “know””. I want to know how this relates to me!

I remind myself that all card draws and all insights I see from this 40 Day Devotion are linked. They all relate back to my original intention of creating balance and peace in my life. My body is one of the pieces to do this.

It takes time to see the relevance (I derisively think there is an abundance of my physical body, and I realize this is being unkind to myself). I think my body supplies an abundance of information if I take the time to listen. My body hates sugar, it bloats and yet I still eat it no matter the discomfort to my body, but the information is there to stop if I listen. I feel the owl is a reminder asking me to find the treasure within me to create the life I desire. There is inner beauty within, and I need to acknowledge this.

If I listen and act on my body’s wisdom, I can see the right steps to create balance in my life. There is wisdom within me to help create the belief structures I need to create connections and security (all themes for the 40 days I do this practice).

In these 40 days I need to learn how to listen and act on the wisdom found within me helping me to create the life I want.

I am learning my body has a voice and I need to heed the wisdom of her.

I need to see the beauty in my body and appreciate who I am. How can I create change or a sense of security and connection if I cannot see or appreciate who I am?

Conclusion

On reflection I have noticed there is a missing piece in my practice. It is good having these insights, but I need to take action!

What action can I take away from today’s insight?

I need to create a way that my body’s voice is heard and honored. I need to truly see myself. I need to honor myself where I am and love who that is regardless of looks. I am reminded I have the power within to create the ability to see beauty within my body. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if I cannot see the beauty within me who else will. I need a practice that will develop a trust between mind, body and soul. Is this the time for me to embrace the mirror practice? No matter the discomfort I need to truly see me.

I promise myself, if I feel pressure rising in my body, I will stop taking a deep breath, reflect and see if there is a body wisdom arising that I need to hear. I will listen to the reactions my body gives to me and reflect to see where change is needed.

This is a start, but there is a reason I am working with a mentor. I will take this to our next session to find other practices I can embody.

This is the end of the third day. Let us hope my body does not break in practice tomorrow.